Spring Break

Well, I made to to a break. The past week of class has been a bit brutal. My program is such that separate professors create their own curricula without too much attention to what is going on in other classes. Occasionally this leads to classes assigning way too much work at the same time without seeming to recognized that we have multiple classes. Now, this appears to be a simple fix to me. Have a meeting between the profs before the semester starts and iron out the schedules to make sure things make sense. Maybe I'm just a simpleton who doesn't understand that these are important people who can't be bothered to take time. Or maybe they just don't give a fuck.

Either way, last week was a bombardment of case reports, problems sets, and tests. I've made it out, may have bombed a test, but whatever. P = MD (pass gets you your MD).

Now on to spring break. I'm not going anywhere exciting, but the decompressing is very well appreciated right now. I'm going to spend some time seriously considering how I want the next few years to play out academically. I have a couple opportunities to take time and do some cool stuff, but I'm not sure it would be the best thing for my future or the most productive use of my time. I'm not terribly concerned with timing, but I am hoping to get to the heart of my career before I'm 40. There is not enough time to do everything, but there are routes to doing so many different things within medicine. So I'm going to think.

Otherwise, socially life it a bit dull. I think our first year class has settled into a rythm. We know who is who. To me, this is dreadfully boring. I'm excited to welcome the next batch. My school is sending out acceptences this upcoming week and I'll be hosting a couple of kids. The huge difference in my perspectives from last year to this year is startling. It will be fun seeing things from this side of the fence.

Cor

My brilliant cardio pathophysiology professor is big on words. Cor is a word derived from Hebrew and Phoenecian languages that refers to a measurement of capacity in seeds. Cor then is a seed. Most romance languages derive their word for heart from this (el Corazon, cuore). The complete mastery of a subject is fantastic to observe-my cardio professor surely has it with the heart.

This mastery must have a starting place. Physiology has made obvious to me how ignorant I have been in these subjects. Medical school presents many of these moments. Basic concepts of preload, afterload, contractility, what it means to be in congestive heart failure, the balance of the vascular systemt between cardiac function/organ perfusion/renal filtration are all such basic parameters of human life. Yet they remain so completely ambiguous until confronted by peers further along in their understanding of materials who force feed concepts and knowledge.

The heart is also associated with something else this time of year. Valentine's Day is certainly not a holiday I am keen to celebrate. Mutations in culture have presented us with a stink bomb, in my opinion. I'm convinced that a nationwide vote would lead us to dismissing this holiday. Regardless, perhaps it is needed to give people something to do. For those of us who are single, it is simply an awkward affair. Am I supposed to get dinner with other single friends? Am I supposed to go out and look for love? Am I at least supposed to try to get laid? It's all fucking annoying. For me, the awkwardness of telling others my plans consisted of eating $10 worth of McDonalds and watching a movie in my room was easier than making plans simply b/c of the holiday. Everyone one else feel free to enjoy the VD...I mean Valentine's Day.

Snow

Working in the lab right now, looking out at a blizzard. I don't mind days when it is snowing, it is the days after that bother me. It tends to get really cold the day or two after a snow storm. Then as it warms up, slushy puddles of snow and nastiness form. You can't walk from place to place without looking like an army commando. Finally, at night the slush freezes to make an icy death trap. Needless to say, I'm a bigger fan of spring and summer than I am of winter.

I'm going to be happy when January classes are over. Many of my classmates have enjoyed much free time. I'm not sure if that has been a factor in my feeling a bit off lately. There are more complex reasons, but no need to go into those now. I think most people go through times of loneliness when they are not in relationships. I have spent most of the past few years hitched up, but haven't seriously seen anyone in a while now. I'm convinced there are evolutionary pushes for both males and females to be constantly seeing someone once they pass the age of around 20.

Enough of that babble. I am doing fine, just a bit of longing for something more lately. For now I will brave the snow and keep moving forward. I don't have a lot to complain about and there are always a lot of positives to keep in mind.

Winter

The last month has been a bit of a blur. Post finals, I sat on the couch for days on end swallowing any bit of food in sight. While relaxing, I am happy to be back into the world of the productive. I was fortunate to enjoy New Years in New York City and the inauguration of our new president in DC. The weather on this coast has been brutal lately, but the ability to take part in such events is a big benefit to being on this coast. I could use this to go on a rant about how fucking amazing it is to have a new president, but I won't. We still need to hold him accountable and push for the best possible policies, but I really feel like the people have an ally in the office.

January classes are a bit blah. Biochem and Biostats/Epi. Not exactly quintessential med school classes in my opinion. I'm looking forward to getting to February when the physiology starts in. But for now, I will pound the inborn errors of metabolism into my skull.

The only other task going on now is the lab. I have been putting in about 4 hours a day in the lab. The group is working on finding the genes/signalling pathways involved in development and especially with a certain congenital defect. I like the people in the group and I really like the fact that we are using some very sophisticated/cutting edge tools to find things out. For me, science and medicine go hand in hand in every respect. Augmenting the class/clinic work with science is something I hope to do at every stage in my career. That's it for now, back to some lonely book work.

FINALS

So I have been abusing myself lately. With finals, get your minds out of the gutter. I'm not a high stress person. I don't let tests or worrying about whether some tiny detail on the coagulation pathway will determine my success in life. I think a lot of that is bull shit. On the other hand, I am a person who enjoys knowing things. I like being able to spout of pathways or the pathophysiology of a disease. My finals studying becomes a combination of learning what I want to learn and learning what will be on the test. People who try to "game" tests by figuring out what is on them and asking excessive questions to that motivation drive me crazy. We should be interested enough in the material to learn it and learn it well. We should want to be the most competent people we can be in order to help patients. I know this is idealistic and many will argue this mode of learning just doesn't work. I'll just have to disagree with those people.

I am looking forward to escaping the medicine/science world for a while after finals. I'm trying to make plans for NYC over New Years. We'll see how that works out. I won't know what to do with myself without having material to learn. I am a freak. We all are.

Turkey Day

I am tying up the last few strings for this semester as the holidays are coming around. I have issues with holidays. There some cruelty to them. Everyone is expected to act certain ways and have certain components in their life: family, friends, wealth enough for a banquet. Many don't enjoy these things. Many people are products of broken families, either by choice or by difficult circumstances. Holidays provide an impetus for many to believe their lives are wrecked. After all, if you don't enjoy the common, American rituals there must be something wrong with you, right?

I'm a big fan of constantly enjoying the people around you and the people who are important to you. We shouldn't need holidays for that. So as the holidays come, I would like to encourage those struggling. We are all one community. I hope everyone has a happy holiday that doesn't revolve around rituals that contain little meaning.

Arrhythmia

I've developed a bit of a rythm to my Sunday mornings. I wake up around 9, check email, watch something online (most likely daily show), work out, clean my room, listen to some NPR. It is the only rythm to my life. I find comfort in it for whatever reasons.

Reflecting on this, it is odd to me that I have chosen a profession in which I hope to have no rythm. As an academic physician, I hope to be pushing boundries, treating new patients, and progressing my field. This course is not at all regular among physicians. There seem to be so many routes and such disparate lifestyles to be had within medicine. Some specialties I feel to be so adverse to the things I want to do and be, all under the umbrella of medicine. I could just as easily see myself being a fisherman as being a plastic surgeon or a dermatologist.

The rythm of being a physician is an important factor to me. I don't want to spend too much time fighting insurance companies or filing for payments. Our depleted, ruined system has taken so much of the life out of working in medicine. I wonder how much more dedicated and excited caregivers would be if this was not the case. Would quality of care go up? Would costs go down?

I have a month now to get into finals rythm. Pathology last week was quite an exciting test. The time given for the test was not enough. Classmates were running from room to room to look at slides and think about what exactly leads to subendocardial infarcts. I will be using the month to study and write papers, hopefully with some coherent rythm.

Immunocompromised

Took an immuno test this morning that covered virtually all of the basis science behind immunology. Fun. Immunology actually is fun because it is very clinically relevant. Clinical case presentations go a long way to understanding the mechanisms behind immune response. One more test in a couple days on Pathology and then its cruise control until finals.

On another note, I performed my first physical examination last week. It was a bit impromptu. The physician walked me through it and held my hand at every step. It was still quite strange acting like a doctor. It felt a bit like I was being asked to go through the motions for a play rather than examining another human being for signs of disease. I did learn a lot, though. I believe becoming a practicing physician will take much repetition before I feel as though I am not a complete poser.

Switching gears: Unabashed Obamamania

My first round of mid terms have been put to rest. I have a few weeks of test freedom until the next round comes crashing in. I will be taking this time to write a couple of papers (writing this is a warm up). While I could disgust any possible readers of this blog with the exciting tales of pathology, genetics, immunology, and anatomy, I'm sure everyone is more focused on a little upcoming election.

A bit of personal history first...I was raised in two locations: Texas and rural Colorado. My father is from the panhandle of Texas; he is as white and conservative as they come. My mom is of Mexican decent and was born and raised in a border town. Our interal family dinamics, looking back on them now, are phenomonally strange. When visiting my father's side of the family it is not rare to hear blatantly racist garbage, sometimes even directed against the very race that myself and mother constitute. These events aren't offensive to me, I understand that they do not see me as a member of the groups they attack. They see me as grandson, nephew, cousin; not mexican, spic, ditch digger. I don't know how these these conflicting ideas present in their minds. For me, forgiveness and an understanding that they lack the experience with culture to understand the harm they cause rule out any anger or grudge I may harbour. I was raised primarily with these Christian, conservative ideals when it came to my politics. As I matured and explored ideas/perspectives outside of these boundries my own belief systems formed.

And this is the part where I gush about Obama. I doubt that I will ever relate to another political figure as I do to Barack Obama. I understand that this could be construed as being not different from the people who vote for a candidate on the basis of "I could sit and drink a beer with that guy", but I can't help it. Barack's speach on race after the Rev. Wright fiasco hit so close to home for me. Growing up in primarily white America, I struggled with identity. To this day, I am forced to adjust and often ignore ideas that Mexican's come in certain boxes. As though pursuing academics or not knowing how to salsa dance exclude me from my racial background. That, to me, is the most damaging feature of race. Those not in the racial majority are expected to follow cultural roles that the minority is seen to reflect. Growing up white means that you have a cultural get out of jail free card, you can pursue what interests you and what you relate to. Being a racial minority in the United States means that you are expected to be deeply anchored in that culture, work with that culture, enjoy only those cultural activities. If you do not, than you are an Oreo or worse. I am non of these things, I enjoy Spanish language and Mexican food, but I am not Catholic, I do not go out of my way to find hispanic areas of the city. I understand and empathize with the plight of immigrant and Mexican issues, but science and medicine are of much greater interest to me than those social issues. Barack explains these ideals and perspectives. I truly believe he understands the ethnic components of America. He doesn't come from a background of white and black; he sees communities in constant modes of balancing race, family, and work. He understands that we are all in this together.

In addition to this more personal reason for supporting Barack Obama, his policies are absolutely needed. Our current economic situation and the immense gap between the super rich and poor in this country should absolutely put the Republican "trickle down" economics completely to bed. The idea simply does not work and has caused a horrific amount of damage to so many Americans. Barack Obama is not an elitis, but he certainly has an elite mind. His campaign has been focused and really transcedant in these bleak political times. His health care plan is light years better than anything coming from the other side and I think he will more capably drive us away from our dependence on oil. On social issues (abortion, same-sex marriage, gun control) I will always lean to the left. I believe that the past few decades the conservative movement drove policy drastically to the right. While the free market is most certainly the best economic system, there obsolutely must exist balances in the form of regulation to keep middle and lower class Americans from slipping to the bleak level they are at right now. Ok, I have been on my soap box enough this morning. Time to get back to medicine. Get out and vote!

Autopsy

My nights have been getting later and later. I don't think this is because of overwhelming work load or stress. I'm not sure what's going on. I do find myself dwelling on things I need to do or want to do. Tonight I'm thinking about how early I have to get up to go to autopsy review. My program is one of the few in the country that still incorporates autopsy participation in the first year curriculum. We are able to do so thanks in some part to the small size of the program. Great, one may think, hours with dead bodies.

I found my first autopsy a couple of days ago to be a bit of a transforming experience. I have been in anatomy lab for a couple of months now, but this was different. A technician roughly dragged the body onto the table and began preparing. This wasn't a corpse to me. It was a person last night. A person with hope and aspirations for the future. The technician swiftly cut open the chest cavity and began loosening the upper respiratory tract from its bindings. The normal, mondane activities of this man's everyday working life was entrancing. The sites were surreal. Much in the same way I couldn't believe a live bull was chasing me through the streets of Pamplona a few months ago, I couldn't quite comprehend what I was watching. The feeling lasted around 15 minutes before the medicine and education engulfed me again. The moment summed up a lot of my more ruminant feelings about medicine. We are practitioners of the most humane profession in humankind, but must often suspend bits of our own humanity. We want nothing more than to connect at the deepest levels with patients, but our own experiences and points of view often compromise any ability to relate. Yet the overwhelming feeling I recall now in watching was that of utter empathy. That empathy is what has driven many of us to this point. We can and must do tings outside of the norm. We must tell families things that will break their hearts, and our own in the process. We must because it must be done, because these things are necessary to directly help individuals and future generations.

Testing the funny bones

Just finished an anatomy exam. Boy was that fun...Cool tricks for the family with anatomy: put strong pressure on either side of your wrists on the palm side, if you put enough pressure on the correct spots your palm will start turning white because your are cutting off the superficial and deep palmar artery arches from the ulnar and radial arteries respectively, when you release your palm will flush pink. Also, gather the guys in your family and ask them to lift up their chins. Ask which of them have scars under there chins. Turns out that around 40-60% of males have scares under there chins from falling, getting punched, or saying the wrong thing to the wrong girl.

Now I will start the process of forgetting everything I know and knocking out some brain cells. Maybe I will sneak in some reading of normal literature or thinking about some non-medicine stuff.

Anatomy

In lecture right now on biomechanics...not my thing. Anatomy is a very controversial subject in medical school. Some programs poo poo it, and some have basically eliminated it. The thought is that if you go into a specialty that requires that knowledge, you will learn it then. Can't this be said for practically any medical knowledge?

Anatomy blows at times. Long lab hours, brute force memorization, juicy remains all over, and constant smells. I like to think that my 3 month dedication to it will be worth the trouble. I certainly can't imagine med school without it. I don't know if specific knowledge of the pectineus or plantaris muscles will ever come to play in my career, but if nothing else I will have an appreciation for the physical presence that is all of us.

Studying

I am encountering my first bit of real studying since taking the MCAT. The process taking on an academic lifestyle has involved changing the fundamental way in which I think about studying. I remember the many days in which studying was much like a shitty high school job, I did it just to get by without anyone getting upset with me and in hope that at some point I could stop doing it. It's hard for me to now uderstand how that formulated. Is this an American attitude? Why do young kids become indoctrinated with the "school sucks" attitude? Why is learning about animals and the way the world works so much less exciting than who is fucking who on "the real world"?

Of course, no one likes staying in and missing out on other fun activities to hit the books, but material learned during education is truly useful and applicable. It amazes me that everyone makes that classic clame: "this will never be useful in my real life when I am working". How the fuck do you know what you are going to be doing? I hear this claim from seventh graders on up to medical students. Really, noone thinks having a broad knowledge base in many different areas doesn't make you more insightful, interesting, more able to hold a conversation?

Maybe the studying is getting to me. I'm basically on a 9am-11:30pm schedule of lecture, anatomy lab, clinics, and studying during the week with breaks for lunch, an hour for nap and dinner, and an hour or two of study breaks for random messing around. But I really don't feel as though my life is terrible. Normally I would be watching reruns or some shitty movie I've already scene 10 times on TNT. Which is really more exciting? Just food for thought. With all this being said, I'll be more than happy to endulge in a Friday night full of debauchery, drunkeness and absolutely no medicine. Back to hematopoiesis...

I'm still alive

Haven't posted in a few weeks...more a indictment of my laziness than of being overloaded or overstressed. The best thing about medical school is that studying isn't so painful as some of the studying in undergrad. No more physics, calc, random course that I really don't give a rat's ass about. No, using up valuable socializing time in the dissection lab or studying immunology is not my idea of fun, but the information really is interesting and I feel priviliged to be in the process of becoming a physician.

Yesterday was my first experience with the brachial plexus. I must say the hype is a bit much. I don't feel too intimidated by any of the structures we've gone over yet. Then I read the manual for tomorrow's lab... How many fucking muscles can there be in the forearm and hand? Talk about gross anatomy. hahahahaha, get it?

Other than studies, I've spent a bit of time at free lunches and dinners which are abundant in medical school. There was a posh dinner complete with filet mignon and free drinks last week, not too shabby. We've also been on boat cruises and an assortment of activities to get us to get drunk and bond, which I have been more than happy to do.

First week of real class

I am finishing up my first week tomorrow. Though the week hasn't been overly difficult or intimidating, my first dissection looms tomorrow. We were able to view our cadaver briefly a couple of days ago. The sight of the hands and the tattoos on our cadaver made me feel uneasy. I think the first cut will be difficult. Once entering the cavity, I think it easier to think of the dissection as simply a tool. Of course, I am not speaking from experience yet.

The coursework has been great thus far. After years of taking classes, I feel as though I am finally taking the courses I want at the level I want them. Get back to me in a month or so when I am barely treading water and wanting the tidal wave of info to stop. Some of the more interesting factoids I have learned thus far include the fact that Prostate Specific Antigen testing and Digital Rectal examines aren't as good for finding cancer as I had believed. Also, the immune system is crazy. I guess if I'm worried about any courses it's immunology and anatomy.

Otherwise, things are going well. Still adjusting to the med student life. It is a little bit odd coming back after a couple of years. I don't feel like as much of an individual right now, more a cow being hearded in different directions. The options of things to do are endless, now I just need to find the time and motivation for them. Too bad I am so shitty at setting priorities sometimes. That's all I feel like writing right now, though there is much more on my mind. My next post may be political, just a warning.

The night before

Orientation starts tomorrow. Pre orientation has allowed befriending and partying, but I'm not feeling overly prepared for tomorrow. Drinking and socializing constantly seems a strange starting point for a career traditionally regarded as stressful and isolating. Maybe the experts are wrong...It is surreal that my life as a medical student is beginning. I suppose it will still be quite a while before I feel as though I am actually becoming a physician.

I don't have anything else, mostly just wanting to mark the occasion for myself. To the general public: watch out for the new short coats in the next few days, we don't know anything.

Welcome to the jungle

Ok, so I really haven't started anything, so this is a premature post. The real jungle doesn't start for a couple of weeks. My new classmates and I have spent most of our time being lost in the city and finding places to drink. Not exactly the intense studying I've been warned of. Returning to the dorms has been awesome so far. I'm happy with my room and realize how much I have missed having no commute time. Boston seems to be a great city. In the limited time I have spent here, the local culture has been intoxicating. The sharp accents and compulsory use of the word fuck is quite charming. Today myself and some classmates were pulled over while doing community service because they thought we were soliciting the locals. The locals ooze character. Now if I could stop spending so much money on food and booze...

Everything will change

I often entertain ideas that human beings were not meant to live in the modern world we have created. This is certainly not an original notion, but it is a particularly intimate feeling for me as I pack for medical school.

Humanity has thrived due in large part to circumstances of group dynamics and family structure. Evolution has taught every living species to value group survival over all else. We are innately social beings meant to attach great meaning to our relationships. Our tv, movies, books, stories, and fabels are packed with stories of heroes sacrificing self for the greater good. I have little doubt that these thoughts of heroism encircle the thoughts of many premeds. After all, many doctors are portrayed as selfless heroes in media and motion picture.

Why then, do I feel like I the path to medical education has led to putting myself above all else in many situations? I haven't lived anywhere near any family members for over six years. My infrequent visits are often marked by the inability to relate to those so close. To many family members, I am the smart kid who they don't really know and seems a bit aloof. I am unable to discuss my job or exactly why I am doing what I am doing. I scoff at family members when they refer to how many years it will be before I get to do what I want to do. They don't seem to understand that education is what I want to do.

Now, as I finally achieve goals a lifetime in the making, I don't see many around me to celebrate with. I will not have a close friend within 300 miles. All personal relationships have ended and I feel alone. I know that I will soon be living and learning among amazing people whom will become commrades. But what of those amazing people who are now in the past? The past 6 years have been a circuit of becoming immeasurably close to people, only to lose them when it came time to chase the goals. Is this the plan? Should this be normal? Or am I caught up in archaic emotions which have become unnecessary for survival of the fittest? Does being able to disband myself from loved ones make me strong, or vapid? I am so emotionally tired.

I don't question what I want to do. I know that medicine is the career that will fulfill me. I question the methods of achieving it. I question American morals. I question myself.

Kafka often related the contridictory life of an artist in his writings. In his efforts to describe and capture the nature of humanity and his attachment to it, Kafka found himself alienated from that which he held so dear. It seems physicians often undergo the same cycle. We fight and claw to achieve the position which we believe will allow us to most closely connect whith those around us. In this process, I think many lose touch and become separated from the common man and from those around us. That being said, Kafka understood more than I ever will and contributed more than most ever will. It is this hope that I cling to, the hope of making a contribution.

Home

I am making my last stand. My last stand just happens to be letting my parents stuff me with food. I collapse into the same rut every time I come home. There's nothing I want to do at home and my parents aquire some sort of anxiety about not doing something every second that I am here. Something usually ends up being eating. I am helpless to resist. So I will be taking an extra ten pounds to school with me...just the impression I want to make on classmates and faculty.

I am certainly one of those people who loves family from afar. I miss them and wish I could play a bigger role in the lives of my family, but when I am actually around them I become frustrated. My convictions and ways of thinking are foreign to my family. I find myself going into a mental coma when I am around my family for too long. This is of no fault to them, I am just so different. I find myself chewing fucking ice or sleeping a lot. My family will always have a divergent effect from anything else in my life.

The coming reality of med school still seems far away. I am at the edge of the cliff, but I can't see it. I'm not worried, stressed or even excited. I've just accepted it as a reality that hasn't come to pass. Maybe this will change when I get on campus. I'm looking forward to meeting new people, but that isn't what I am doing med school for. Maybe I am just in a circle of denial that all of the effort and worry in getting here is over. Maybe I'm just a fucking douche. I just don't feel as though my life is about to change, even though I know it is. I've never been one for epiphanies, though. I need some inspiration, somehow I think the people who I will soon be around will provide plenty.

Rebounding

Recovering from vacation is a bitch. Not so much in the tired, worn down recovery, but in recovering from mind sets. For the past 3 weeks I have been completely free of any obligations. Facing life again is foreign and unwelcome. I find myself wanting to crawl into bed and escape. While I am fighting these things, allow me to give some perspectives from the final destinations in my trip.

Barcelona is a much more tourist friendly location than Madrid or Pamplona. The big, well-to-do shopping areas, fine dining, english friendliness make Barcelona less intimidating. The sights around the city are fantastic. Montjuic, Museums (Picasso museum being the one which grabbed my interest), olympic park, parc guell, Gaudi buildings everywhere, and the beach (which you may or may not be interested to know is topless friendly) are just a few of the attractions. The city fulfilled the daydreams I have been having about it since I was a child. Those planning a trip to Barcelona are doing themselves a great favor. I stayed at Centric Point which is a couple miles north of the beach on Passeig de Gracia. It is in a very nice part of town with a great atmosphere. I spent a rainy night playing a game of spoons with special drinking rules in the hostel bar which was very lively. One of the game participants had been in an altercation the night before and arrested. His court date was scheduled for one day after his train reservations, so he didn't believe a return trip to Spain would ever be prudent. Of course, he had to be a fucking American. Just one of the many characters from hostels.

After Barcelona I spent two days in Paris. Paris is beautiful. Every street corner seems to offer a picturesque statue with a cafe or street vendor adding life to the very old city. My days were filled with site seeing. The louvre was overwhelming. I almost felt it was too big. I spent over 5 hours there and didn't even touch an entire floor. The history and sites in Paris are remarkable, but I didn't become attached to the city like I did Madrid and Barcelona.

Finally, a train shipped me to London and Cambridge to finish my trip. I had a chance to spend a year in Cambridge attaining a masters, but didn't take it for several reasons. While I am thrilled with the directions my life is taking, I somewhat regret not living in England for the year. Being in Cambridge certainly pulled out these feelings. Small cafes and restaurants are littered amongst the ancient buildings where some of the greatest minds in human history were developed. I attended the graduation of a certain special someone while I was there. The event was as history drenched and proper as one would expect. London was as great as expected. I had spent time in London before and returning only confirmed my fondness for the city. Devouring fish and chips in a London pub is a must.

Overall, I couldn't be more pleased with my trip. There were no great tragedies, the weather always seemed to be perfect, I met some unique personalities, and spent time with a familiar personality which I greatly appreciate. Travelling from hostel to hostel is a worthwhile experience for anyone. Being in unfamiliar countries with languages you don't know can be intimidating at times, but breaking out of comfortable situations can lead to great growth. As for the cities and countries themselves, I wholeheartedly endorse all of them. Barcelona, London, and Madrid were my favorite destinations in that order.

I hope to slowly switch gears now. Thoughts of medicine and school have been fleeting, but I want to start medical school on the best foot. I needed some time for me, but my goal is to use my time helping all of us. Wow, that sounds fucking corny, but sometimes I can't help myself.